You seem well intentioned and maybe this is simply a language issue, but I think you might want to start with this statement in your comment:

“I set my wife free to do the activity of her choice.”

Your wife should always be free to do the activity of her choice, or as free as you are. Your statement implies that the power dynamics in your home are such that you are the in charge and she is not.

Consider how you and your wife can work together to form an equal partnership, talk to each other as peers about your passions, encourage each other. I suspect your wife will find her way to what she wants to do over time if given the space and personal autonomy you yourself enjoy.

Thanks for asking a thoughtful question. I hope you don’t feel like I’m judging you. I grew up in a traditional home too (although in Canada) and I know that even when we have the best intentions it can still be hard to look beyond our own experiences.

Writer and reader. Director of UX for Store Management at Shopify. Formerly designed with words at Facebook. Based in Toronto.

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